You Might Be Depressed If...

Disclaimer: I wrote the following with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek.

1. They say that pets take after their owners. Yours lie around all day and sigh.


2. You are blissfully free from doing laundry because it takes too much effort to change clothes.


3. You feel accomplished because you took out the trash and checked the mail on the same day!


4. You lie in bed reading books on productivity, but never quite manage to get up and turn on the dishwasher.


5. You don't remember what was ever remotely interesting about sex.


6. You would have a nervous breakdown, but you don't have the energy.


7. You won't socialize because you feel ugly and boring. Perhaps this is true, but probably it's not.


8. You sit at your computer crying because that email about the lost puppy was just so, so sad.


9. You have four different lovers because you don't feel loved. You do, however, feel stalked. Also, see number 5.


10. You feel virtuous about your efforts to save the environment because you haven't shaved in a month. Keep those nasty disposable razor blades out of the landfill!

Of course, 9 and 10 don't go together, so you may not be experiencing all of these symptoms. If you think you may be suffering from depression, check out the Mayo Clinic's Depression Self-Assessment tool. Depression isn't fun, although making fun of it definitely can help. Remember, depression is not you. Now get up and turn on that dishwasher.

Comic by Natalie Dee.