The Power of Words

I am currently reading the book Deep Economy by Bill McKibben. Although it is not a book about happiness per se, reading this paragraph reminded me of how important it is to be careful how we choose to use words in our everyday life.

"In the words of economist Richard Layard, 'We now know that what people say about how they feel corresponds closely to the actual levels of activity in different parts of the brain, which can be measured in standard scientific ways.' Indeed, people who call themselves happy, or how have relatively high levels of electrical activity in the left prefrontal region of the brain, are also 'more likely to be rated as happy by friends', more likely to respond to request for help,' 'less likely to be involved in disputes at work,' and even 'less likely to die prematurely.'"

In my life, this has translated into being much more careful about what I say. Sometimes it is tempting to join in office gossip and agree that "things really suck around here," even if I don't agree, just to be part of the crowd. It is common knowledge that when we surround ourselves with negative people who say negative things, we are more likely to do the same. To some degree, we can choose to distance ourselves from such people. Other times, we need to be aware of this tendency and fight against it by choosing not to use negative words to describe our moods or circumstances.

In the treatment of anxiety disorders, the practice of using positive words can be very powerful. Your words have the power to override any subliminal negative messages that you are creating. For example, the anxiety issue that I continue to struggle with the most (more on "struggling" later) is traveling. I have found that I can feel okay driving outside of what I unreasonably consider to be my "safety zone" by saying things such as, "I love driving," "It is such a beautiful day, and I am so fortunate to go for this drive in the country", "I am a strong person, and I can do whatever I want to do."

These are affirmations, and they work when they are worded in a completely positive manner, no "I will not be afraid" statements allowed. Your brain hears what you say, and believes it. You do not want your brain to hear the word "afraid", regardless of the context. This technique works the best when you say the words like you really mean them. For me, the only drawback to this technique has been that I will not use it when others are in the car. I do like to maintain a pretense at sanity for the sake of others. However, if you are less inhibited than I, then this could work in any circumstances!

Watch out for casual utterances of phrases such as, "I feel like crap today." Not good. You are starting a negative spiral that in all likelihood is not going to improve as the day goes on. It becomes even more insidious when you respond to a similar comment with the words, "Me too". The social use of negative language is one area that can be quite detrimental to people who suffer from anxiety and depression.