Doing The Dishes, A Super-Charged Productivity Tip

While others are productively installing the latest Firefox extensions, voluntarily doing laundry without electricity and preparing for every possible contingency that could arise with one's offspring, I am still struggling with remembering to turn on the dishwasher.

No problem.

Sometimes it's easier to fantasize about living in another country, as I do in my blog Living Overseas. But at some point, the damn dishes just have to be done. You know it is bad when your teenage son's friend stares into the kitchen sink and remarks, "When I move out, I am going to have paper plates, plastic forks and paper cups. I am never going to deal with this."

To save face, I have had to work on changing my ways. Long lists don't help. It turns out that a simple procedure works for this annoying task. Every morning, when I make my coffee, I spend the period of time that it takes for the coffee to drip into the carafe doing the dishes and cleaning the countertops. It has become a sort of contest--Beat The Coffeemaker. Yes, I know it would be better, more mature perhaps, if I actually cleaned as I went. Since I am a highly distractable person (you know, like Einstein) that method didn't work for me. I would stand in the kitchen for a moment, perhaps put one glass in the dishwasher, and then remember that I needed to write my son a note for school and that was that.

Anyway, Beat The Coffeemaker. It works, and it is so much less depressing when the kitchen is clean for at least an hour a day. Next post: How Your Pet Can Assist You With Daily Chores.

Stress In Two Countries: A Comparison

I've been thinking more and more about what exactly it is in American culture that causes so many of us to be diagnosed with anxiety and depressive disorders. In the United States, it is easy to "live in a box", an artificial life of sorts. I've been thinking about this lately because I live in a very nice, quiet apartment where people pretty much keep to themselves. There is no yard, and I cannot open the windows without sacrificing privacy. I drive to the gym and walk on the treadmill. I talk to friends on the phone more than I talk to them in person. Sometimes I feel pretty disconnected.

This is in sharp contrast to the life I lived when I was managing a language school in Guanajuato, Mexico. Here are some huge differences:

• Due to the layout of the city, I walked almost everywhere when I lived in Mexico. There were lots of hills, and I got in really good shape, which decreased my anxiety.


• When I went shopping, I often bought healthy food from the people who grew it. I struck up lots of conversations with shopkeepers, increasing my feelings of being connected to a community, which is crucial to good mental health.


• No one cared if I was running a bit late. There was never a need to rush.


• The apartment had lots of windows and three balconies, providing lots of sunshine. The neighbors all interacted with one another in positive, supportive ways.


• If I wasn't walking, I was riding the bus, which was a relaxing way to check out the local culture and not worry about traffic, car problems, etc.


• I drank tequila. While it is generally accepted that alcohol consumption is not good for anxiety, in my case, this did not hold true, at least not in Mexico. Perhaps it is because I finally relaxed enough to not worry about maintaining constant control, which is a reason that I don't drink very often, generally.


• I never had a lack of physical contact. In Guanajuato, female friends hold hands, and people greet one another with hugs and kisses. If you are on your own, a lack of human touch can definitely contribute to stress.


• I ate the local diet, which did not include any processed foods. Additives like MSG have been linked to symptoms similar to those of panic attacks, such as a racing heart and flushing.


• It was easy to make friends. If I had spoken with someone at the market the week before, and then sat next to them on the bus, an invitation to have coffee might be forthcoming.


• There was no land line, and hence no annoying phone calls. Likewise, there was only one channel on the television, and background noise was practically non-existent. Of course, in recent years, satellite television and a proliferation of cell phones have changed this for many.


• I made a halfway decent salary, but paid only $100 USD rent. I did not have financial stress. Not owning a car contributed to this financially stress-free state.


• Health care was cheap and accessible. I only had to go to the pharmacy and explain what the problem was and the pharmacist would hand me the medicine for a very reasonable price.

Nowdays:

• I currently pay almost $1000 USD in order to live in an apartment that is safe for my kids. Along with this, health insurance and car expenses, I struggle to make ends meet.


• Everyone seems very busy. At this point in life, very few people where I live seem interested in investing the time in new friendships. I love the people I work with and attend church with, but at the end of the day, people are stressed and busy with myriad responsibilities. An occasional happy hour and catching up with friends on the phone comprises the majority of my social life. I am glad, however, that I live in the same town as my parents and brother. That makes up for a lot.


• I eat too many processed foods. This is primarily the result of too little self-control on my part. However, I do miss walking home from work and picking up some fresh veggies to saute at home on the way. Standing in line at the local huge grocery store with a few veggies is time-consuming and stressful.


• I feel like a taxi. My community is not designed with either walkers or cyclists in mind. I am continuously shuttling my two kids to activities and myself to do errands.


• If I am late to work, I can rest assured that others will take note.


• The phone rings too much with unwanted calls. I feel as though I should have one since everyone else does, though. I still haven't given in and gotten cable, though.

In no way do I mean this post to be a gripefest about the US. However, I often think about how I never even thought about taking a Xanax when I lived in Mexico. In fact, I have started a blog about living overseas since I am doing research on it anyway. I am tempted to move back to Guanajuato, since I enjoy the lifestyle so much, but since my younger son has language issues, it may be better for me to find a place with a larger expat community if I decide upon this course of action. Meanwhile, I am determined to live the best life I can where I am at.

You Might Be Depressed If...

Disclaimer: I wrote the following with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek.

1. They say that pets take after their owners. Yours lie around all day and sigh.


2. You are blissfully free from doing laundry because it takes too much effort to change clothes.


3. You feel accomplished because you took out the trash and checked the mail on the same day!


4. You lie in bed reading books on productivity, but never quite manage to get up and turn on the dishwasher.


5. You don't remember what was ever remotely interesting about sex.


6. You would have a nervous breakdown, but you don't have the energy.


7. You won't socialize because you feel ugly and boring. Perhaps this is true, but probably it's not.


8. You sit at your computer crying because that email about the lost puppy was just so, so sad.


9. You have four different lovers because you don't feel loved. You do, however, feel stalked. Also, see number 5.


10. You feel virtuous about your efforts to save the environment because you haven't shaved in a month. Keep those nasty disposable razor blades out of the landfill!

Of course, 9 and 10 don't go together, so you may not be experiencing all of these symptoms. If you think you may be suffering from depression, check out the Mayo Clinic's Depression Self-Assessment tool. Depression isn't fun, although making fun of it definitely can help. Remember, depression is not you. Now get up and turn on that dishwasher.

Comic by Natalie Dee.

What Exactly Is This Feeling Called Again?

Tonight, I was at a social event and my heart began racing, I was sweating, and I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. There were times when I thought I was going to scream, and I did. Fortunately, the event was my son's playoff game for the local baseball championship. This experience made me remember one of the most important things that people can do when facing anxiety symptoms, and that is to reframe the experience as a positive one.

Excitement is a GOOD thing!


Is a racing heart cause for alarm, or simply a byproduct of excitement? You decide, because it can come down to a simple choice on your part as to how you are going to view the situation. Back in the old days, if I felt my heart racing or my stomach in my throat, I automatically associated the symptoms with anxiety, and proceeded to have a panic attack even if I was having a good time. Then I realized that all I was feeling was excitement, and made a conscious effort to flashback to my teenage days when a racing heart meant I was having fun.



Running the Bulls
When I was about twelve years old, my best friend and I played a game that in retrospect wasn't very wise. We would walk out into the pasture until we saw a bull, wait for it to notice us and come our way, and then run like crazy with the bull following fairly close behind. I ruined many shirts snagging them as I quickly scooted under the barbed wire fence, but the recriminations from my mom were apparently worth it, as we played this "game" over and over again. What were we after? Why the rush, of course! The exhilaration of a racing heart, a healthy sweat and the relief of having come out of the pasture unscathed.

Pretend You're In Love
Perhaps for you, the thing that causes your heart to race and the butterflies to do flips in your stomach is speaking in front of groups. Or driving alone. Perhaps it is the prospect of attending a party on your own. All of these things can be interpreted as being exhilarating, rather than scary. It is simply a matter of how you choose to view the situation. After all, being in love can also make your heart race, your palms get sweaty, and if you are head over heels, you might even lose your appetite! Yet most of us would not choose to avoid the person we love because of the symptoms that love (or lust) can cause. So choose to love the thing that you dread, and you may find yourself experiencing excitement rather than fear. Go ahead, fall in love with public speaking, or at least pretend to!

When we reframe our negative experiences as positive, exciting ones, it zaps the fear. So don't fight your feelings, go with them, and enjoy the ride.

The Panic Attack Preparedness Kit

As much as we don't want it to happen, you never know. And while you should never, ever avoid doing something because you might have a panic attack (this is a certain route to agoraphobia), it never hurts to be prepared. Just as some women will never leave home without a hairbrush and lipstick in their purse, I never leave home without my Panic Attack Preparedness Kit. The Boy Scouts would be proud.

What you decide to put in your kit depends on your own personal anxiety symptoms. If you tend to hyperventilate, a small paper bag could come in handy if that is a technique that you use. If you get nauseous, a couple of Peptol Bismol tablets are handy. Personally, I never leave home without Xanax. Nothing stops a panic attack in its tracks like a milligram of Xanax placed under the tongue. It's nasty tasting, but if the anxiety is bad enough to resort to the emergency Xanax, then you won't even notice the taste. I have not tried it, but I hear that Clonazapam is also made in a sublingual tablet. The reason that the pill works faster under your tongue is because the active ingredient is absorbed directly into your bloodstream by the large veins located there. Just in case you were wondering.

Another thing that I include is ten milligrams of Propananol. One of the symptoms I get is a racing heart, and sometimes I get skipped beats, otherwise known as PVC's (Premature Ventricle Contractions). I especially hate those, and like knowing that I have a pill that will put them in check. That one does not work by putting it under your tongue, by the way.

If you get hot flashes, one of those instant cold-packs that are typically found in first-aid packages will feel good. You can put it on your neck to cool your body as quickly as possible.

Sometimes, all you need is a distraction from whatever is at hand. I have a whole bag of things that I take when I fly. It can help to do things with your hands, such as knitting. If you are able to concentrate, a crossword puzzle can do the trick. The thing that I simply must have with me (second only to the emergency Xanax) is a journal. I use it to write positive affirmations, stories, coping strategies, etc. The act of writing is itself soothing, and I sometimes end up with some pretty good material for a story, such as the time I was waiting in the ER and wrote down a conversation between a prisoner chained to a bed and the attending police officer.

These things provide me with an emotional safety net. However, I find that they are most effective when they are already in my bag and I am not thinking about them or possible situations that could arise. I don't want to trigger that good old anticipatory anxiety! Keep the positive thoughts, but be prepared if it makes you feel better. Remember, these things are not to fight anxiety, which never works, but to help manage it.

The Power of Words

I am currently reading the book Deep Economy by Bill McKibben. Although it is not a book about happiness per se, reading this paragraph reminded me of how important it is to be careful how we choose to use words in our everyday life.

"In the words of economist Richard Layard, 'We now know that what people say about how they feel corresponds closely to the actual levels of activity in different parts of the brain, which can be measured in standard scientific ways.' Indeed, people who call themselves happy, or how have relatively high levels of electrical activity in the left prefrontal region of the brain, are also 'more likely to be rated as happy by friends', more likely to respond to request for help,' 'less likely to be involved in disputes at work,' and even 'less likely to die prematurely.'"

In my life, this has translated into being much more careful about what I say. Sometimes it is tempting to join in office gossip and agree that "things really suck around here," even if I don't agree, just to be part of the crowd. It is common knowledge that when we surround ourselves with negative people who say negative things, we are more likely to do the same. To some degree, we can choose to distance ourselves from such people. Other times, we need to be aware of this tendency and fight against it by choosing not to use negative words to describe our moods or circumstances.

In the treatment of anxiety disorders, the practice of using positive words can be very powerful. Your words have the power to override any subliminal negative messages that you are creating. For example, the anxiety issue that I continue to struggle with the most (more on "struggling" later) is traveling. I have found that I can feel okay driving outside of what I unreasonably consider to be my "safety zone" by saying things such as, "I love driving," "It is such a beautiful day, and I am so fortunate to go for this drive in the country", "I am a strong person, and I can do whatever I want to do."

These are affirmations, and they work when they are worded in a completely positive manner, no "I will not be afraid" statements allowed. Your brain hears what you say, and believes it. You do not want your brain to hear the word "afraid", regardless of the context. This technique works the best when you say the words like you really mean them. For me, the only drawback to this technique has been that I will not use it when others are in the car. I do like to maintain a pretense at sanity for the sake of others. However, if you are less inhibited than I, then this could work in any circumstances!

Watch out for casual utterances of phrases such as, "I feel like crap today." Not good. You are starting a negative spiral that in all likelihood is not going to improve as the day goes on. It becomes even more insidious when you respond to a similar comment with the words, "Me too". The social use of negative language is one area that can be quite detrimental to people who suffer from anxiety and depression.

Carn Trouble: Redirecting Stress

Today, after a few burps by the engine, the car decided to turn on its Service Engine Soon light. Instant bubbles of stress appeared above my head, with captions such as, "How will I get to work?", "It is too hot to walk" and "I can't afford a new car".

Oftentimes, it is easy to let our minds spin multiple stories that don't have happy endings. A good question to ask is, "What is the worst that could happen?" In my case, it would be that I would either have to depend on others for rides or buy a used car with my savings. Is this the end of the world, as the adrenal response that my body puts out would seem to indicate? No, it is merely an inconvenience. At times like this, it can be a good thing to log onto a site such as The Heifer Project and donate a few bucks. It puts things in perspective when you realize that you are one of the fortunate people having dinner tonight.

Overthinking is never good. Taking action is. The first thing I did was call a mechanic and make an appointment. The second thing I did was call my mom and arrange for back-up transportation. I will refuse to allow myself to worry about the third possibility, budgeting for a new (used) car, until I at least talk to the mechanic tomorrow morning.

Replacing thoughts is effective. Those initial stress bubbles are now consciously filled with these thoughts: "I am fortunate that I have some money in savings", "I am happy that there are people in my life who are glad to help" and "I can handle something as mundane as car trouble".

Life is good.

Kick Klonopin in 10 Not So Easy Steps

I really, really wish that several years ago, when I was having panic attacks and the doctor was handing out meds, that he had mentioned that they are addictive. Several years and several failed attempts to quit later, I've finally done it, and I'll tell you how. Not that it was easy, but it is doable. By the way, this method also applies to the Xanax I was also taking.

Exercise. No matter what, you have to find a way to do it. Personally, I hate it. However, I have eliminated all excuses. I get on a treadmill if it is too hot. I walk the dog when it is cool. I swim or dance when I am bored with walking. I learned how effective exercise was after I spent two days moving and then forgot to take the Klonopin for a couple of days. It will definitely burn off some of the stress and withdrawal symptoms.

Cut down slooowly. The times I failed were the times when I just couldn't wait to get off the stuff, because darn it, I was doing so dang good! Sorta like when you're dieting and kick it up a notch, only to find yourself nose deep in a bagful of Doritos. Cutting back gradually, as in one-eighth of your dose every two weeks, is what works.

Eat way less sugar. Sugar messes with your blood sugar, which in turn messes with your state of mind. If you can, cut it out completely. Taking cinnamon supplements may help stabilize blood sugar levels.

Get outside. One of the side effects of cutting back on any benzodiazepine can be depression. Being in sunlight, or in fact, any natural light at all is better than being indoors. Natural sunlight has been proven to increase levels of seratonin in the brain, which in turn leads to more feelings of well-being.

Cut out caffeine and other stimulants. Your nervous system is so sensitive when you are cutting back on benzos; you don't want to add to the jitters.

Accept that you are going to feel wacky. I have never heard of a way to withdraw from benzos that is completely carefree. If I had, I would be a rich woman. I have had backaches, headaches, depression, chest pain caused by tension and insomnia. Oh, and grouchiness. My family wouldn't want me to leave that one out. These things may happen, but you can roll with it. You'll feel icky for a day or two, and then the symptoms will begin to taper off. Really. Unless you have violated tip number two.

Initiate your cutbacks on the weekend. Whenever you feel like cutting back, choose which dose will be least missed. Then cut back on that one on a Friday. You'll be able to spend the weekend doing things you enjoy, rather than stressing about work. Of course, if weekends are more stressful for you, reverse this advice.

Sleep and be active. My kids are old enough to let me sleep in on the weekends, at least if I threaten or bribe them. After I cut back on or eliminated a dose of Klonopin, I slept as much as possible. When I wasn't sleeping, I was cleaning the house or running errands. Anything but sitting in a chair "feeling the tension" is good.

Take an antidepressant. Actually, I only recommend this if you absolutely can't do this any other way. Antidepressants can be awful to get off of as well, and I'm sure I'll be posting about that some other time. However, there is some evidence to suggest that fish oil, with omega 3's, can prevent the depression that can come with benzo withdrawal. I take them, but I don't know if they were helpful or not. I will swear that sunlight is as effective as Zoloft, though. If you take the fish oil, I highly recommend the no-fishburp kind!

Comic from benzo.org.uk. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!

Disclaimer: Nothing on this site is intended to replace medical advice or attention.